Amy Winehouse's Weightloss Secrets - Balanced Diet Of Cigarettes and Crack

Forget all the fad diets an gimmicky guru meal plans, throw away those phony weight loss pills and fat burning creams and follow a tried and true regimen that gets results fast.

Drink all you want and still lose weight...the Winehouse way.

These before and after shots of British singing sensation Amy Winehouse should be proof enough that a strictly followed diet of smokes and crack will melt away those pounds and eliminate that cellulite...as well as any identifying gender traits

Tired of waking up knowing where you are? Sick of being buxom, curvy or robust? Aiming for that ghoulish dead 3 weeks and still roaming the earth look?

*Stop the yo-yo dieting and start the crack habit. Pick up a pipe and some smokes...

Your body will thank you for it.


*Consult crack dealer before engaging any crack diet. Results shown not typical. Appearances may strike fear in small children. Side effects include loss of teeth, lapses in sanity, and even death.

10 Other Things Hillary Clinton May Not Remember Correctly

In the wake of SniperGate (what if there's ever a political scandal involving fencing materials...will we have a Gategate?), perhaps Hillary's ability to recollect should come under scrutiny.

After all, she is in her 60's now, and this picture clearly shows she was a hippie...a pot smoking one, perhaps? As for Bill''s hillbilly-fro, maybe he did inhale.

Regardless, the President of The United States cannot be delusional...Bush proved that.

Let's examine some other things her memory may be a bit fuzzy on...


1. How she was the one to free the hostages in Iran in the 70's

2. How she invented the internet...not that Al Gore guy.

3. How she was the one to Free Willy

4. How to disclose her tax filings

5. How to bow out gracefully

6. How Stella Got Her Groove Back

7. Who shot J.R.

8. How she battled Godzilla and saved Tokyo.

9. Who shot the sheriff. ( she didn't shoot the deputy, though the case does remain unsolved.)

10. How she ever fell for a guy like Bill.

Mary Ann Meets Mary Jane?

The Associated Press reports that Dawn Wells, known to millions of television viewers as Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, is serving 6 months probabtion for allegedly having marijuana in her car after being pulled over on the way home from a surprise party held in her honor.

She was pulled over on October 18th of 2007, in Tecton County, Idaho, after a Sheriff's Deputy noticed her, slowing down, speeding up and swerving as she drove. When he pulled her over, he inquired about an odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle. Wells attributed it to something that three hitchhikers she had just given a ride to had been smoking. A search of her car yielded some partially smoked joints and a couple of cases believed to be used for storing the dope.

As if that wasn't bad enough, she then failed a sobriety test.

Her attorney, Ron Swafford, claims that numerous witnesses were willing to testify that the former TV star had not had much to drink at the party and was sober when she left. The erratic driving was due to Wells playing around with the heater controls in her new car. Swafford further explains that a friend of Wells testified that he had used the car that day and left the drugs in it without the owner's knowledge.

Sounds like the show's writers had one last zany plot left in them....but then again, Mary Ann always was too trusting and naive.

Wells, who is now a whopping 69, pleaded guilty to reckless driving on February 29th and was given a $410.50 fine and sentenced to 5 days in jail and 6 months of unsupervised probabtion.

Who knew that the girl next door was a 60's version of Lindsay Lohan?

After spending all that time stuck on an island, 5 days in the slammer must seem like a cake walk. Thank heavens the Skipper wasn't alive to see this.

Isn't Gilligan usually the screw up?